Why Women’s handbags should come with Google search

Have you been in a queue at the supermarket and had a woman in front of you rummaging through her handbag for her credit card?

Have you dropped a woman off at her place after a romantic evening and waited while she ransacked her handbag for her front door key?

Have you had to place several phone calls to a woman whom you had no idea couldn’t answer your phone call because she hadn’t found her phone in her handbag?

What is it with women and big handbags? Why do they seem to keep getting bigger and bigger? It wouldn’t hurt for somebody to tell the manufacturers to stop increasing the depth of these handbags because of the externalities that result from their production i.e. the shoppers queuing behind at the teller point, the driver waiting to zoom off, and the concerned friend at the end of an unanswered phone call. Wouldn’t it be nice if handbags in the 21st century came with a pre-installed Google search to help navigate inside the handbags? This is how I propose these special handbags should work if, for example a woman¬†decides she needs to locate her wallet to pay for some goods:

Step 1 – Handbag owner performs a search for her wallet by saying, ‘Google, wallet’

Step 2 – She inserts her hand into the handbag and is guided by a voice in the handbag; ‘Deeper…Deeper…that’s it…you’re almost there…left a bit…’ (Well, I’ll have to work on the lingo not sounding like a Rated R movie.)

Step 3 – Once the voice says, ‘Wallet found’ the handbag owner can grab accurately.

Well I better send a proposal to the app developers at Google pronto ūüėõ

Happy Valentine’s Day 2016


Hello dear fans and visitors, (why are you still visitors? show some love and follow my blog today teehee).

In true Cupid style I decided to send this special love post that perfectly encapsulates the essence of Valentines Day. If you have a partner show them how special they are. It’s not always about gifts. You can make someone’s day just by saying the right words from your heart – not everyone is hell-bent on chocolates, flowers and teddies. If you’re single then let that dream partner know that they’re on your mind today. You can also extend your love to your family members – mum, dad, mother-in-law, father-in-law, etc. But most importantly, love yourself. You can’t begin to show love to others if you don’t love yourself. I love me and I love you all for your loyalty, your curiosity, your consistency, your commentary, and your generosity in sharing my posts. Happy #ValentinesDay

Image credits: Google

5 things Google couldn’t find

In the world of search engines Google is rumoured to be king. ‘Googling’ has become an accepted terminology for describing¬†the process of¬†performing an online search (Though I’m still baffled when I hear some people pronounce the search engine as ‘Goggle’). I have used Google¬†judiciously and I must say that I wish I made use of it whilst doing my research at university (I was¬†a ‘Netscape-come-Lycos’ loyalist then). I usually don’t have to go beyond the first page whenever I carry out¬†a Google search. That said, I would like to challenge Google with the following searches:

1. Where to buy a winning Lotto Ticket¬†– This may come across as being a little greedy but I still think it’s a valid search. Google should be able to narrow down its search results: from the continent in the world with the highest volume of lotto winners right down to the exact location of the shop where the most winning tickets were bought. I’m just saying it wouldn’t hurt to have some facts and figures before coughing out¬†¬£1 to buy a lotto ticket in probably the unluckiest part of the UK, for instance. Google! Make me rich!

2.¬†¬†Email addresses of Celebrities¬†– Haven’t¬†you ever wanted to send an email to your favourite¬†celebrities? I could ask¬†Oprah Winfrey¬†if she would¬†ever make a comeback, or¬†ask¬†Eminem¬†if he could reserve a backstage pass for¬†me or¬†ask Kim Kardashian¬†if she often gets mistaken for Nicole Scherzinger¬†of the Pussycat¬†Dolls. I know, I know, we have to respect people’s privacy¬†blah, blah, blah.¬†But how much energy would it take for¬†Rhianna to click on my email and mark it as spam if she didn’t like it? She might just¬†reply¬†if she’s curious enough to¬†know if I’m as crazy as she is! Google! Gmail can go one step further so get me connected!

3.¬†Osama Bin Laden¬†– Does anyone remember how for over a decade nobody could find America’s one time most wanted terrorist and extremist who was behind the 9/11 attacks of 2001, despite the presence of the best US Intelligence, every money-hungry bounty hunter in the world, and all the sophisticated satellites in outer space?¬†I remember when President Obama finally eliminated Osama, which made George bush cry (and that reminds me of when Obama was elected as America’s first black president, which made Jesse Jackson cry). Google! Fine-tune your Google Map application pronto!

4. My Enemies РWhen you want to find friends via the internet Google suggests Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Hi5, Friendster, etc. When you want to know who your enemies however you currently have to rely on: gossip, unreturned phone calls, bad business deals, bounced cheques, Facebook deletions, etc (but I prefer to rely on good old prayer). Google! Start working on an application, Google Enemy-Finder!  

5.¬†My perfect match – I’m sick and tired of hearing about Matchmaking sites (not that I use them…although I’m sure¬†mentioning them could suggest otherwise to readers). I’m not condemning these sites¬†but I think it could take some time after registering, paying a few bucks and¬†having to go through a gruelling process of trial and error only¬†to find out your love interest is a distant cousin.¬†Why can’t Google zero-in on¬†the person who has recently searched for you and has all the qualities¬†you¬†desire? In fact, Google could go one step ahead of Facebook¬†and¬†develop an app:¬†Googlove¬†– where member A¬†sends a confidential request¬†listing all¬†the full names of people¬†they want to date, namely member B, C, and D,¬†and the¬†app only returns a match when¬†member B also lists member A. Make sense?¬†I guess¬†real-life dating will have to do for¬†now. Google! Thanks but I’ll have to find¬†true love¬†using the best search engine – God ūüôā

How I increased traffic on my blog (Part I)

I woke up this morning and decided to attend the 7 o’clock service at my local Anglican church. There the Vicar¬†explained the essence of Boxing Day – a tradition celebrated on December 26th whereby excess gifts (including food) are ‘boxed’ and sent to people in need. In a similar vein I published this¬†post as a gift to readers who would like to see a significant rise in the number of visitors to their blogs/websites.

I have come across various tips from numerous sites on the Internet, including WordPress. However, I will only highlight tips that have worked for me on my blog, The Crazy Nigerian.


1. Write about a popular ‘niche’ topic

Last week I was pleasantly shocked to discover that my blog had received 352 views Рthe highest number of views ever on this blog in one day. There was widespread talk and forwarded text messages about vacancies at a giant Telecom company in Nigeria РAirtel. However there was also controversy about the authenticity of a particular website being used for submitting job applications. What did I do? I wrote about it. 


The results not only showed that there is a high level of job seekers but also that the topic is of significant interest to a niche of people. Writing about a popular topic and writing about a popular ‘niche’ topic are two different things. Popular topics are published by a greater proportion of writers and so your post/article is less likely to appear in a top 10 search on Google. When writing a popular ‘niche’ topic on the other hand consider the following:

  • Using¬†a catchy title for your article/pos (consisting of¬†keywords likely to be used in search engines)
  • Including relevant links in your articles/content that would give the reader further information
  • Writing about the topic while it is still generating public interest
  • Prior research in order to provide a relatively holistic view on the topic