To Whom It May Concern (and you better be listening, Santa!):

I had by far the shittiest (surprise, surprise…WordPress spell-check didn’t underline THAT word) day of the year. Take away the fact that I barely had enough sleep from the high-octane activities of the 23rd, I consumed a lethal concoction of chocolates, fried chicken, beans, plantain, crackers, Smirnoff Ice (well, neither in that order nor at the same time). On the 24th I was fortunate to be within the premise of a recreational club in the course of my customer visits and had to dash to the gents (Isn’t it just typical when you’re pressed and you ask for directions and then you get something like, ‘go up the stairs and turn left then the first right’ – AAAAARGH! Houston, he’s gonna blow!). Anyphew! Anyway, I was dizzy for the rest of the afternoon and mindful of everything I was putting into my mouth…which wasn’t until after 6pm (I don’t even recall chewing my food in the process). I had some deadlines to meet before leaving the office and by 9.30pm I was on my way home…knackered like a $10 hooker doing overtime (maybe not the best way to describe it but it’s my blog…my rules Insert *tongue out* emoticon here).

There’s a lot to wish for; some realistic and some as real as a wizard from Hogwarts. I could wish for constant power supply (and a good second-hand sale for my redundant generator), a property purchase for residential use (and a well-rehearsed in-your-face look when I leave my rented apartment), a book mention/TheCrazyNigerian mention by some prominent Celebrity (and a Giorgio Armani handkerchief to blow my nose and cry my tears of joy into). But I could wish for a Nigerian President who would care about the welfare of the people and would be a selfless leader. I wish for peace, favour and grace in my life, my family, my relationships (with my girlfriend and other acquaintances), and so much more. However, I think it’s only fair to leave those to God and give you something far more easier…

*Cue Drum roll*

This Christmas I wish for 100,000 PAGE VIEWS before the end of the year. (Insert Tadaah! here).

Is this a wish or an appeal, I hear you say? Who cares?! Just gimme gimme gimme 😀

All I really want for Christmas is my girlfriend Linda…but she’s on the other side of the world right now in the US till 2014 (double boo-hoo). BAH HUMBUG!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE and make sure your friends visit thecrazynigerian.com soon.

xxx xxx xxx

Aside – I wonder how many of you clicked on ‘Linda’ hoping to see a picture…nice try lol!

@dcrazynigerian