I had over 5 hours of sleep last night. I woke up early, I had a warm bath and sat down to a delicious egg sandwich whilst watching the highlights on Sky News. I put on my shirt and tie, packed some lunch and an apple, before grabbing my jacket and car keys. It didn’t occur to me up until I was halfway to my office (which is on the other side of the f***ing southern hemisphere) that I realized that I had forgotten my work shoes.

In case you’re wondering if I was barefoot then the answer is ‘No’. I was wearing bathroom slippers (and now you must be really confused). There are two reasons why I choose to wear bathroom slippers to drive: 1) They’re way more comfortable than work shoes  2) Refer to reason 1. I know it’s all my fault but I have a perfectly good explanation for this debacle. *Puts on his silly Sherlock Holmes hat and shoves a pipe in his mouth, trying to look suave* It all started last Friday night…

I was rather famished after closing from work so I decided to nip down to the local supermarket for some grub. Normally I would take off my shoes and wear my trusty ‘ol slippers for the long voyage home but it slipped my mind after trotting in and out of the supermarket. I arrived at my apartment absolutely knackered and walked indoors with my work shoes still on. On Saturday I went to my automobile to pick out my slippers and by Monday I wore them to drive – thinking that my work shoes were already in the car. Elementary my dear reader, elementary!

Well, my colleague made my Plan B come to life as he was able to salvage a decent pair of size 11’s to wear after calling him before resumption time (what are the odds of him sharing such a rare shoe size?). I had to wear my slippers at the office for the first 2 hours because my colleague came late (because he had to mend an open sole and have the shoes polished). ‘Awkward’ does not even begin to describe how I felt in my suit and slippers. I was glued to my seat for obvious reasons. Glad that’s over though. Now where are my slippers…? Oh for f*** sake!!!!