Warning: This article may amuse the Gay community but may offend homophobes.

On one of many ‘student nights’ during my University years I was out with a couple of friends. We decided to go to a nightclub (and it wasn’t a gay nightclub if that’s where you think this story was heading). Amidst the strobe lights, endless queues at the bar I wandered into the crowded dance floors and later felt somebody pinch my butt. I turned round but to my amazement there wasn’t anyone trying to get my attention. I thought maybe it was a shy girl who did a pinch-and-run. In that same moment I got the shock of my life when I got the glimpse of a young white dude like 2 feet away who gave me a dodgy wink – Bingo! I found the ‘pinch-er’ but I became an unsettled ‘pinch-ee’. Was I giving off a gay vibe?

Weird interrogations:

In the past I’ve had some drunk forward girls in London nightclubs ask me during conversation, ‘Do you have a girlfriend? I would respond with a ‘No’ because I was single at the time. And then the follow-up question was, ‘Are you seeing anyone‘? Again, I would answer ‘No’ because at the time I wasn’t in a relationship. Then they round-up with the third and bizarre question, ‘Are you gay?’ Huh? Where on earth is the correlation between being single and being gay?

What to wear and how to act:

You could imagine my confusion; second-guessing my appearance and overall dress sense henceforth. I admit wearing a magnetic stud in my Uni days for fun but it was on my left ear not my right! I consciously cross my legs while sitting by placing my left leg over my right. Don’t even get me started with how long it took before I switched from wearing baggy American style clothes to fitted ones. I remember my younger sister encouraged me a few years ago to wear Levi regular fit jeans and I reluctantly obliged. I’ve not bought another pair since then. But does that mean I’m unsure of my sexuality or uncomfortable with being perceived as a gay stud muffin?

Ladies and gentlemen, for the record (and I play this vinyl on a gramophone) I am 100 per cent heterosexual and coincidentally I’m also a metro-sexual, which could explain the vibe exude. To any gay men who’ve made advances my way feel free to confirm I never attacked or insulted you. Sadly I’ve got my eyes on the earthlings from Venus 😉

Are you comfortable with your sexuality? Has anyone of the same-sex made a pass at you or groped you against your will? Do share (and you can be anonymous if you wish).

Thanks for reading 😀