Avoid Nigerian news like the plague
This includes reading the local newspapers or listening to local news on the radio or watching local news on TV. An overdose of ‘corruption’ news could impair your judgment in day-to-day activities and lead to hypertension. If you must acquaint yourself with local news and remain sane then limit this to twice a week!
Assume everyone else is insane
This applies especially for motorists who encounter keke mapep, okada and danfo drivers. Do not try to jostle for space with these category of drivers . They have nothing to lose and probably don’t have third party insurance to cover any serious damage to your well-maintained car. So see it as you doing them a favour when you let them whizz past you or cut into your lane.
Don’t lend money you cannot do without
If someone asks to borrow money from you with every intention to pay back then just prepare for inevitable stories in the near future. You know, stories that touch. Zero your mind once the money has left your hands/account. Why? because the moment you request for it repeatedly you’ll soon find that you are being insulted for making a big deal over it. ‘…so because of only 200K you want to stress my life!’ (Er…rea-lly?)
Never pick a fight with your neighbours
If you haven’t yet become a home owner or stumbled upon an abandoned flat with a hidden stash of international and local currencies you might want to just manage your neighbours. Yes, their overnight generator fumes may kill you. Yeah, their early morning mortar pistle pounding may wake you. Yep, their irregular ‘ambush style’ parking may delay you. But the bible says, ‘Love thy neighbour as yourself’ (Go figure).
Don’t let certain noodles domie-nate your diet
Marijuana consumption is the least of this country’s problems. Regular noodles consumption is not advisable as it falls into the category of processed foods with all sorts of additives/preservatives. Also, noodles whose seasoning is not properly cooked can lead to high blood pressure in the long term. I know someone who cooked his noodles till done then sprinkled the seasoning a minute before serving to eat! Eat fresh more often and have a sound, sane mind I beg una.
And if all else fails just listen to ‘Happy’ by Pharell Williams on repeat 🙂