That phrase usually surfaces in conversations when a (straight) man is about to spill his guts about how he has developed strong feelings for a lady (finally). But the problem I find is that we don’t always seem to know how to go about it right, without coming off sounding like a cheesy line straight out of the Jerry McGuire movie (Hint: What did the sentence say to the period?).

Imagine a man lying down next to his girlfriend on the beach. He’s giving her a sensual massage with the sweet-smelling coconut oil, while she’s sipping a scrumptious Chapman cocktail and reading the latest post from The Crazy Nigerian on her iPhone (what? it’s possible!). Suddenly, unknown to them, a Tsunami the size of King Kong is racing down towards them. There is clearly no chance of escape. He decides to seize his moment to confess his feelings. He turns her over and then he goes, ‘There’s something… (SPLASH!). Whoops! Too late 🙁

Now, the person I feel sorrier for is the poor girl who has no idea what her boyfriend intended to say before being slapped with one million gallons of salt water. For all she knows he was going to say;

• There’s something in your teeth (Observation)
• There’s something in my eye (Irritation)
• There’s something you’re not telling me (Suspicion)

But even if the Tsunami was non-existent, how do you think our lover boy would have concluded? ‘There’s something I want to tell you. I think about you every hour of every day and I would be doing myself an injustice if I didn’t tell you how much I want to be more than just your boyfriend. You have a smile that could melt an iceberg and a voice that could soothe a troubled spirit. I look forward to waking up each day ever since you became a part of my life and now I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life. I guess what I’m trying to say is…I love you, I want no one else but you and I don’t want to go on living another second without my soul mate. will you marry me?

A bit over the top? A simple ‘I love you. Will you marry me?’ would probably have been enough to seal the deal (with a big shiny rock to match, of course). Men don’t always find it easy to express themselves; both in words and in actions. They sometimes spend too much time trying to read their partners thoughts. It’s best to keep things simple and just be open. Women can sense when men are being honest…and they appreciate it too. Men need to look their partner deep in the eyes and say exactly what is on their mind no matter how unrehearsed or unpolished. Blurt it out, follow-up with a kiss and a warm embrace…sparks are bound to fly (well, we can only hope). The next time you see that special someone tell him/her how you feel because you may never get that opportunity again.

By the way, Happy Independence Day Nigeria! Enjoy your 52nd year 🙂