Living in Lagos does things to you. Even the most patient of hearts can get stirred up by the antics of inconsiderate human beings. Many Lagosians I’ve come into contact with are not keen on queuing even though it is a civil gesture designed to give some sort of order. How else would a cashier know who is next to be served?
On several occasions I’ve had to literally bite my tongue to avoid hurling harsh comments at the following character profiles:
Pull up to the bumper: These kind of people don’t care that their basket, trolley or crotch keeps bumping into my innocent, unprotected behind. They reserve no apologies and they keep dry humping you until you’ve gotten off the queue. Grace Jones can relate.
One Two Step and Slide: These clowns see you in the queue and rather than go to the back of it they just pretend to be oblivious, stand by your side and slide into you like a DM. There’s nothing clever about this behaviour yet it appears to be common with impatient folk in these parts. Big Shaq probably gets me.
Other Side of the World: What makes these people the most annoying is that they impact everyone in the queue – not just me. They come from the opposite end of the queue and start their own queue because the rest of us have zero sense of direction and chose to buy time not groceries. Everyone gives them the look of death and beckon on the sales attendant to ignore them (or else). KT Tunstall knows what I’m talking about.
If you ever find yourself in a queuing situation anywhere in the world please exercise patience and stay in line till it gets to your turn. Doing otherwise is just a cheap way of telling everyone else you’re a complete asshole.
…and if I didn’t manage to communicate then hopefully you’ve gotten some good soundbites out of this 🙂
I used to read your blog while I was “in the abroad,” and I loved them. Now, I’m a Lagosian like you, I love the posts even more! May we our paths cross on a Shoprite queue some day!
Welcome home! *hugs*
Don’t worry, you’ll settle in well after a few months, lol. It’s time I uploaded a few more posts. Nigeria needs me! *in superhero voice standing majestically with green cape*
My dear, I’ve more than adjusted. On my recent post, I recounted my short experience as a bus conductor! There’s no atom of “I just got back” left in me. lol
Lol. I’m off to go check it out 😉