Back in secondary/high school you were either cool, nerdy, or ‘razz’ (neither cool enough to hang with the cool kids, nor smart enough to hang with the bookworms, and not worthy to be seen in public with). I’d like to think I was somewhere in between cool and nerdy but that’s beside the point. If a boy wanted to chat up a girl he had to check himself first and know what category he fell into i.e. cool, nerdy or razz. If a cool guy went out with a cool girl, that was fine. If a cool guy went out with a nerdy girl, that was also fine. If a cool guy went out with a razz girl then he had to get his head examined.

So also if a nerdy boy went out with a nerdy girl, that was fine but going out with a razz girl would not be an intellectually sound decision. However a nerdy boy going out with a cool girl, though rare, could only work during the holidays (over the phone, of course) or if he’s already driving his dad’s car. Razz boys and girls are pretty much like the O Negative (O-) blood type – they can give affection (not blood in this case) to everyone but they usually only receive affection from other razz kids (sounds harsh but sadly it’s true). Anyway, it’s no surprise that when I was attracted to one of the coolest girls in school I was told by my good friend that she was out of my league…

First thought – insult. Afterthought – the question all the uncool boys in my school year were asking, ‘How the hell do I get into her league?’ It was a case of ditch my nerdy friends and do something mega cool to become one of the cool kids. But that was never a guarantee of getting lucky with a cool girl. In the end you risked losing your nerdy friends, getting snubbed by the cool kids, and being left vulnerable to the razz crowd.

Today, I’ve discovered that adulthood is a much fairer ballgame. You see, the nerdy kids sometimes turn out to be cool after making a wad of cool cash and hanging out with their cool clients – eventually something is going to rub off on them sooner or later. Even razz kids sometimes see the light as they get older and get exposed to more than just cable television. If I see a girl whose sooooooooo out of my league then she’s just going to have to tell me herself…and then I could consider any of the following comebacks:

• Out of my league? I must have been out of my mind setting such low standards
• Thanks for saving me…from making the biggest mistake of my life!
• You’re right…you don’t need me; you need a pimp
• …and those aren’t real!

Er…that’s all I’ve got. The moral of this post is just go for it and don’t live your life wondering what would’ve been – you never know. I’ll go take my meds now 😀