Being a qualified driver in Nigeria, I’ve had my fair share of swerves, screeches and near-misses, courtesy of some of the pothole-riddled roads and stupidly parked vehicles. With all this experience it goes without saying that I’m as good as any stunt driver *notices Vin Diesel shaking his head* Anyway, it’s common at the end of action movies to see a declaration by the producer stating, ‘…the stunts performed are dangerous and should not be replicated yada yada yada. Well, for the crazy Nigerian this was one bit of advice I decided to throw out of my car window. The car stunt which later ensued one fateful night after work would make me have a rethink. Ladies and gentlemen, start your
Now for cinematic effect let’s pretend I am Vin Diesel (with my bald head I’ve automatically earned that role) and my colleague turned co-star will be Paul Walker (he’s taller anyway so it works). Of course, there was no millions of dollars we were chasing but there was something that was of mutual interest – a CD. When I walked over to Paul’s car in the car park and asked for something nice to listen to in my car he couldn’t find a particular CD at the time. By the time we both got into our race cars, drove out of the parking lot and stopped at a red light, our cars were side by side. We lowered our windows and he told he was still looking for the CD and that he would eventually throw it into my car. But before you could say ‘Michelle Rodriguez‘ the traffic light was flashing yellow. The clock was ticking!
I immediately alerted Paul and he frantically sorted through his collection and revealed the prodigal CD just as the light turned green. If only l had realized that he had found it I probably would have stalled a few seconds for him to throw the CD in. I was now zooming down the Marina asphault when I suddenly noticed that Paul was catching up and trying to align with my car window – he was going to make the
jump throw! I kept looking left at his car and then back at the road because I knew that we couldn’t afford to let this package ‘hit the road’ (get it?). Like an eclipse I recall the exact point when both our cars were perfectly aligned and then Paul simultaneously threw the package into my car unto the passenger seat. But Paul didn’t notice in time that the car ahead of him had stopped abruptly.
He only had a 2-second window to get off that blocked lane and I knew he wasn’t going to make it with my car right by him. As I slammed my brakes he made a hard left, swerving into my lane and barely missing the parked car by a hair. I regained my composure as things quickly returned to normal. It was now time for me to sit back and savour this jinxed CD: and after all that drama, I inserted the CD into my deck and it didn’t play!!! What a bloody waste of adrenaline.
Lol, loved this… I’ve never been 1 for crazy driving but with the way most Nigerians drive, each and every day is like a scene out of Fast 5.
Ah, I hope I haven’t driven recklessly around you – I was probably just avoiding another pothole. A driver taught me once, ‘Always assume everyone else driving around you is drunk and you’ll be prepared for (almost) anything. Good advice, I think!
…hmmm, I think that you could have both parked your cars & exchanged the CDs! Well, that’s the mom in me talking 🙂 I know boys aka stunt drivers, will be stunt drivers!
Lol! You’re absolutely right about that, boys wanting to ‘stunt 101’ like 50cent…suicide doors on a Ferrari…(don’t worry if I appear not to be making any more sense – just stunt driver-speak 😀 )
Soometimes we just wanna live life on the edge…feel alive…adrenaline rush is food for action junkies like me, teehee!
LOOL…. After all the wahala? E no till play?? Choi!!
That’s just typical – not the way Hollywood movies would write that script.
I was on the edge of my seat the whole time! You sure give my “excuse me, driver…” posts a run for their money! lol
Hehe, oh please…you’ve got the perfect set for Speed 3 starring Keanu Reaves and Yvette Rydman as she drives a bus laced with explosive which can be triggered once she drops below 40kph! That’ll put me on the edge of MY seat!
Oooh please when did this happen?
Hmm now I don’t think I want to get in the car with you :p
Really sounds like a scene from Fast and furious . Haha. So after after going through all that trouble the CD decided to not play, if I was you,that CD would be on a trip out of my car window. Rubbish! Good thing you were not hurt.
It was pretty damn annoying after all that effort, lol. I live to race another day 😉
I really shouldn’t be reading your blog at work. Laughing Out Loud. And the CD didnt play after everything. *mybellyachesfromlaughing*