There are a couple of things a man could find a bit difficult to do in life, like studying Rocket Science or learning to play the piano…like Beethoven. But something far harder that goes beyond Calculus and nimble precision is the art of dating Nigerian girls. Why are they more complex than the average non-Nigerian girl? What makes their brains tick (or get ticked off). What I intend to do next is to unravel this mystery…

<<Road map to dating Nigerian Girls>>

Confirm status >>> Evaluate background >>> Measure happiness level

•  Confirm status

When a man starts to date a Nigerian girl he needs to ascertain what stage she’s at in her life – Is she just coming out of a relationship? Is she ready for a new one? Is she sure of what she wants in the next man in her life? Is she still keeping in ‘close’ contact with her previous boyfriend? All these are pertinent questions which if left unanswered may raise issues in the long run. There is also some preliminary screening you’ll need to perform in order to be sure of what end of the spectrum your would-be Nigerian girlfriend is on;

Changeable       <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >  Unchangeable

Extroverted        <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >  Introverted

Thrifty        <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >   Materialistic

Under 30       <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >   Over 30

Lo Self-esteem <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >  Hi Self-esteem

Christian           <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >  Muslim

Church goer     <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >  Bible basher

Dates only within tribe  <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    > Dates outside tribe

If a Christian young man plans to date a Muslim girl then he needs to be sure if she’s going to attend church with him or if it’s going to be TAIF! (Thank Allah It’s Friday!). If she’s over 30 and is a city-type of chick then she may just have passed her ‘submissive by’ date. The average Nigerian girl is also materialistic. Very few would stop their men from spending unnecessary amounts of money on them except if they were concerned about saving for the future. Some girls don’t have and want a guy who has. Some other girls have and want a guy who has more.

‘…why give a girl your heart when she’d rather have your purse.’ – Lil Wayne

You also need to know where she’s heading in life – Is she planning to have kids? Is she ready to relocate out of the state or country? Is she open to being a housewife? Is she ready to take a break from her career and spend quality time with the kids when they’re toddlers? Does she see herself cooking for her husband or rather employing a maid to feed him, with the occasional dining in expensive restaurants on the maid’s days off?

• Evaluate background

If the status confirmation stage is successful you might want to note a few things before accessing the ATMs. The next stage could take a while depending on how open or secretive she is or how much access you have to her FTMs (Friends That Matter). Just how important is a Nigerian girl’s background? Very.

Tradition is for most people a source of identity but to others it’s pretty much a curse; especially when certain ideals become accepted by onlookers as the norm. Some Nigerian girls from certain states have been stereotyped as being either very domesticated or stubborn or greedy or open to use of witchcraft or prone to not wanting to spend any of their money (just their partner’s). Some Nigerian tribes frown at marrying outside their own tribe. Some parents of certain tribes believe that when a man marries one of their daughters he would be expected to take up all financial obligations of her family e.g. school fees of her siblings, upkeep of the parents, and occasional soft loans for relatives. Of course when it comes to dating, with no marriage plans in the offing, then tribes tend to date other tribes. Nigerian girls formerly based in the UK or US may or may not want to date a man whose lived and stayed in Nigeria all his life. Some local Nigerian girls have been known to secretly want to fund their trip to the UK or US in order to relocate and start a new life. If that’s your cup of tea then get those VISAs ready.

“Some girls don’t have and want a guy who has. Some other girls have and want a guy who has more.”

You need to ask what principles did she grow up with? What is her definition of Love? Some Nigerian girls are very homely and grown accustomed to cooking and cleaning (for instance) in the family home. This habit tends to permeate into relationships (if the man in question has his own apartment, of course). Some other girls have been used to having a help to take care of all chores so they usually don’t dare do anything close to chores in a man’s flat. It’s not compulsory but it’s a sign of things to come. If she doesn’t ever offer to make you something and always allows you to buy takeaways then you’ll have yourself to blame by the time you’re both ‘happily’ married.

I’m afraid if you like the Westernized Nigerian girls then you’re most likely in for a power tussle in almost any form of decision-making. Such girls see themselves as your equals – you’d probably just see them as stubborn. If you’re not ready for this kind of drama then you’re better off with a girl whose respectful and willing to let you play the role of man; taking charge most (if not all) of the time. Check her attitude towards men generally and compare that to your experience. If there is no difference then make a difference by taking a walk.

<<Standard men Nigerian girls want>>

~The Aristo~

– Usually from a wealthy family and spares no expense

~The Aje Butter~

– Has been outside of Nigeria (UK or US) and is relatively comfortable money wise

~The Accessory~

– He’s great for showing off to her family, friends and maybe a few colleagues and that’s about it #youtwolookgreattogether

~The Maga~

– He’ll worship the ground she walks on and when asked to jump he will attempt to defy gravity until she tells him to come down.

•  Measure happiness level

This is probably the most important stage which must not be overlooked. It’s also the easiest to grapple with; if she is not happy with any aspect of her life up until the moment you’re dating her then what are the odds that she’ll make you happy? Some Nigerian girls are more preoccupied with making other people happy while others are more focused on making only themselves happy. Just make sure she factors your happiness into the equation before you eventually pop the big question – Will you go out with me? Okay, ‘Will you marry me’ is the big question 🙂

‘…you’re worrying about her and she’s worrying about hers’ – Lil Wayne

Happy dating!

 

#BringBackOurGirls