What I would do if the world stood still for 24 hours

There would be so much to do and so little time. This is probably how I’d play it out from the moment I got out of bed:

  1. Go over to my annoying neighbour’s house and kick him in the crotch really hard.
  2. Drive over to KFC and help myself to a Family Bucket Meal complete with Ice cream sundae, and the refills my bladder will permit.
  3. I’d go to all the trendy shops in town and get a complete wardrobe-makeover; Designer shoes, tops, jeans, watches, cologne, the works.
  4. I’d drive over to MTN and buy an unlimited broadband bundle on my WIFI modem so I can download all the music and movies my hard drive can muster.
  5. I’d go to the supermarket to stock up on all the foods I know could last me for the next 3 months e.g. Rice, Potatoes, Beans, Noodles, Frozen foods (fish, meat, chicken, veg, etc)
  6. I’d get back home to pick up my camera + video camera and take footage of all the motionless people in town.
  7. I’d send the pictures and videos via email to CNN, Skynews, Al-Jazeera and WordPress.
  8. I would start working on a very short article for the newspapers entitled, ‘While You Were Sleeping’ and spice it up with some governmental conspiracy plots and mild Alien invasion undertones.
  9. I would go over to the Cinema and watch all the latest movies whilst stuffing my face with an extra-large box of sticky, buttered popcorn.
  10. On my way back home I would collect as many recharge card vouchers for my mobile phone from the immobile street hawkers so I can make ‘free calls’ the following day.
  11. I could check into a 5-star hotel and go drag out whoever is in the finest presidential suite so I can enjoy all the luxuries available. I’d be sure to set my alarm so I can check out before the hotel staff wake up.

Once I’m back at home I would make myself a nice cup of tea and wait for the emails and phone calls to start pouring in from all the media I contacted earlier. Apart from enjoying my inevitable 15 minutes of fame I would particularly enjoy watching my grimacing neighbour from my balcony as he walks like a penguin to his car! 😀

My neighbour would be walking like that for a week!


8 thoughts on “What I would do if the world stood still for 24 hours

  1. But the food to last you 3 months… I was clapping at all of the other points. That one just hold me, i no fit eat, no fit sleep for 24 minutes! Please what happens to all that food! Oh wait, you;l need them in heaven or ….

  2. You got everything covered didn’t you? Short term, medium term and long term…
    Pray tell, what did your neigbour do to you to make you hate him so? 🙂 could it be the noise of his gen?

    • not the noise of his gigantic gen but how he used to call me at odd hours at night to move my car out. He’s has repented and is a changed man. I on the other hand am on standby…

  3. dang! found your blog ydae! u are crazy indeed! nice! awesome! superb! more adjectives pleeease. check mine out and let me know what you think mylifeasanigeriankid.com

  4. Travelling in a bus with some peeps speaking conc annoying igbo. Was just google-searching funny blogs to occupy myself with & urs appeared 1st on d search. I like it already.
    Ermmm if d world stood still for 24hrs, would rob d world bank in 10mins, locate nicki minaj and amber rose and bring dem 2 my bed in 5mins, then use d remaining 23hrs, 45mins to faqq d hell outta dem. Don’t care if they’re moving or not.

    Damn! Did I just type that? *Adjusts halo*

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