The Art of Distraction

distractionA week ago I got a rude awakening on my way to work one early Friday morning. The 2-week long fuel scarcity was causing unprecedented traffic along my office route but I was within a few feet of my employer’s official car park. I was trying to conserve my fuel as best I could so I lowered my windows on the driver and front passenger side – big mistake. Unknown to me I was about to get robbed.

The distraction: (Knock, knock) That was the sound I heard around the rear region of my car. A scruffy looking man sprung up on my driver’s side and informed me that my back tyre had loose nuts. Unknown to me his accomplice on the other side of my car had stretched his hand into my car and stole my Samsung Galaxy Note II from the holder around my gear box. It was only after I drove for about a minute that another motorist who probably saw the whole thing from behind and notified me.

I asked myself ‘Was i t my fault?’ Yes it was. I left my phone in full view of the thief with an invitation – an open window. This has never happened to me before but like the famous ‘they’ always say, ‘there’s always a first time’. Now I’m on the lookout for my next smartphone…and a crazy insurance company that would pay me the phone value if it got lost or stolen. But the crazy Nigerian I am wouldn’t allow me to let this go: I have a vengeful plan to set up those distraction thieves with a dummy blackberry in full display with my open window and a mobile police contact on standby to apprehend them.

Payback day: Friday 22nd May

It’s game time, bitches…


12 thoughts on “The Art of Distraction

  1. Ohhhhhh no! That really sucks! I read a story once about an old woman who thought she was being every so sneaky by carrying an old handbag with nothing but a few rocks and possibly a dog poop in it, while her real purse was concealed on her person. That would teach any would-be muggers a lesson! However, I think your decoy makes far more sense. You could even have your fake Blackberry filled with some kind of toxic staining ink that will burst out all over any thief, or have some kind of tracking device (like a Tile) so you can then chase the thieves to their lair and apprehend them all at once. Or at least allow the police that discrection. Anyway. I hope you find a nice new phone and keep your windows wound up! And maybe get yourself a jerry can and head to the local servo and have a spare tankful of gas at home.

    • I’ve got two gerricans at home with fuel and an empty ones in the car lol. Putting a tracker makes sense but I just plan to grab the thief and drive off before letting go. That will startle him for sure. He’ll think twice next time or rob on another route. Cheers 🙂

  2. So sorry to hear you lost your phone to thieves. This kind of thing makes you want to wind up your windows and never listen to anyone who taps your car! All the best with getting it replaced.

  3. Eyah! I’m so sorry your phone got stolen. And it’s not your fault at all that they’ve chosen to make a living off robbing others! Don’t blame yourself at all. You should start passing around a hat for donations! We need to get Crazy Nigerian back his expensive Samsung phone.

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