Christmas in the Eighties

...and thats not me by the way

I remember how I couldn’t sleep the night before Christmas because I was so excited about the presents I might find under the Christmas tree. I would sneak out of bed around 4am to see if Santa (whom by the way I believe is black!) had paid a visit to my living room. I had to tip toe to and  fro in order not to wake up my sisters or my parents. After checking for all the presents which bore my name I would scurry off to bed with a big grin on my face. I’d have more difficulty sleeping because I was trying to figure out what my presents were. Was it the Monopoly board game? Sega MegaDrive Console? Or was it a Scaletrix Car Racing set? Aaaaaargh! Isn’t it time to wake up yet????

There was a compulsory church service at 7am that my family and I had to go to (courtesy of mum and dad). We would dress up in our best clothes and sing praises to God and the inevitable ‘We wish you a Merry Christmas’ tune just before the service was over. We would get back home around 10am and be famished. Mum would come to the rescue as she used her superhuman powers to whip up a mouth-watering English breakfast; Eggs, Sausages, Bacon, Toast, Tomatoes (didn’t have mushrooms then but she did include Quaker Oats…mmm).

We didn’t have Cable/Satellite television then so I sat and watched the local channels (NTA 2 Channel 5 being my favourite). I would be enchanted by the Intro to the movie epic Jesus of Nazareth (the best version starring Robert Powell as Jesus). Afterwards my sisters and I would run to the Christmas tree and snatch our respective presents. My parents ALWAYS got what we wanted – must be their amazing psychic abilities. Then there was the catchy music. I would dance to Boney M as they sang their Christmas classics (Boney style). I would prance around like a pony as I could perceive Christmas Turkey Chicken being roasted in the oven. We’d ‘wash that down’ with some jollof rice (no, I didn’t invent the rice, for those non-Nigerian readers…its more like a risotto). I would drink all the Coke, Fanta Sprite that my bladder could handle and search under the crown corks to see if I had won a prize in the latest promotional campaign. The whole family would play Cards, Ludo or Snakes and Ladders and kill a few more hours.

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We sometimes went out to see a family friend in the evening or a family friend would pay a visit to us. My sisters and I especially liked the ones who gave us cash in envelopes. There was dessert; Birds Custard with a slice of fruitcake…yum. We would stay up all night watching movies till you couldn’t tell the difference between the zombies on-screen and the ones on the sofa. If I had eaten way too much then I would be constipated and desperately trying to guzzle the nearest mixture of Andrews Liver Salt. I’d burp and fart my way to sleep (no sheep-counting required). Good times.

This year I wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Thank you for being a part of The Crazy Nigerian world. Cheers 😀