How to write an apology letter

I wrote this letter to my dad after I (eventually) lost my wrist watch which I temporarily swapped with a senior in high school right before the summer holidays. I stumbled upon the letter some days ago while I was trying to do some home cleaning. I can’t believe I wrote this at the age of 12. Amuse yourself as I give my commentary in brackets. Enjoy:

Dear daddy,


I am very sorry about last night. I thought I could lie my way out of this watch business but I couldn’t (the watches didn’t look alike one bit). I really deserve proper punishment but thank you for sparing me (well, he didn’t spare the rod but he took it didn’t go haywire). When I get to Ibadan I promise (that’s broken and so was the watch) to bring back my watch and all my other belongings to Lagos.


Daddy, I know the type of son you want me to be (not a clue) and so with God’s grace (and plenty of it), I will do my best to become a respectful, truthful, well-disciplined and hardworking child whom you will always be proud of (I better check with him and see how I’m doing so far).


Daddy, you have just celebrated your birthday and so I pray that God will give you long life and prosperity (Amen). I also pray that people in your office will be proud of you and that you continue to give me good advice (like don’t give anyone your watch).


Daddy, I have to go now \(my favourite cartoon is on) so I just want to say thank you for all the things that you have done and that one day I shall be just like you.



Great! My dad is hotter than I am

I’ve always had my suspicions, but I’ve now got conclusive evidence. Even though he’s in his fifties, he definitely has some striking qualities which I feel gives him the edge I desperately need (I think).

First of all he’s got a crown of bright silver hair which makes him look pretty cool. On my head, however, all you’ll find there is your reflection, a few beauty spots, and a glossy finish. I just have a few strands of silver sprouts in my chin region – so a silver beard is my only hope I guess.

My dad also does ‘the walk’. Let me try to explain it – it’s this confident strut that commands respect gives an air of royalty and sophistication. I walk like I’m being followed closely by FBI agents and many of my friends have complained that they found it difficult to keep up the pace. At least I don’t walk like a penguin.

He drives a popular Toyota car while I drive a South Korean-made car which many Nigerians haven’t heard of (If you haven’t seen my car yet then you can click on this link). My excuse; it gets me from A to B and that’s all that matters.

He’s very soft-spoken and rarely gets angry. I on the other hand can flip quicker than a Romanian gymnast! Just a few daily encounters with my annoying neighbour and all the Okada riders in Lagos are all I need to trigger a fit of verbal diarrhoea.

Well, I’m not going to compete. I’m just going to be the best ‘me’ I can be 🙂

(To dad – Don’t let this post get to your head by the time you read it! Lots of love)