Entry #32 – Mouth to mouth

mouth2mouthWhat’s in a kiss? Saliva? Sure! That’s if it’s a wet kiss. But if your partner has gum problems or uses a very soft toothbrush then there’s probably some blood to go with that saliva (Urgh!). If you’ve just had dinner before that kiss then there’s probably a whole bunch of food particles swimming through a bloody saliva stream all the way down your oesophagus (okay, stay with me here). If your partner has protruding teeth then there are probably some braces to go with that slimy blood pool. Thinking about dry-kissing instead, eh? I don’t blame you.

I for one like to think that I’m a smooth kisser…you know, those sedative-type kisses that leave lips numbed to sleep. I believe a perfect kiss should be timed, literally. A kiss that lasts for 2 seconds is way too short and a kiss that lasts for 20secs can quickly become a drooling grueling task of endurance (c’mon, that’s a lot of bloody plaque saliva/exchange).

Anything between 10 and 15secs is ideal. With practice anyone can time a kiss…kinda like knowing your body-clock – you just instinctively know when to wake up sometimes. Tongue kissing should ALWAYS be avoided in the morning…yes, even if you’ve brushed the night before, downed a bottle of Listerine, chewed a pack of Wrigleys Extra and recently became the face of Macleans ads.

If your mouth is closed for over 5hrs after all that I’m willing to bet that your breath isn’t exactly a trip to the Alps (unless you sleep with your mouth open…but I’d be worried about what could crawl in). And the next time you save someone from drowning and you need to give him or her mouth-to-mouth please don’t stick your tongue in…that’s a tongue-in-cheek moment if I’ve ever heard of one 😉

Entry #2 – Steady on the Blogathon

It’s only been 2 days (since 21 Feb, 2009) since I’ve been blogging and I must say it’s increasingly becoming addictive. I feel like there’s so much to write and so little time – could a lifetime possibly be enough time? I have categories where I can store trivial stuff that I’ll probably look back on later and think ‘Gee, what the hell was I thinking when I wrote that?’

For the bulk part of my blog I’m thinking of giving Tips to Nigerians in Diaspora, as well as useful updates on what  may affect them if they were to return. Perhaps I’ll give updates on the latest Trends in Lagos too. That’s enough to keep me busy. 

The rest of my blog will continue to metamorphosize and I hope it achieves its aim of being informative, relaxing and fun (hopefully even, addictive). Now I have to go and face traffic on Third Mainland Bridge…f@#%!