November 19th, 2011 – 3.25pm: Time was running out. It was either risk going through gruelling interrogations with possible use of torture techniques, or taking my chances with the ferocious, jaw-snapping shark community awaiting my descent. It must have been ludicrous to assume that with the speed of my 95 foot drop I could possibly dash past all the sharks’ razor sharp teeth – but it was worth a shot. I turned back one last time to the police squad who were all now pointing their pistols at me. I put my hands up in the air and they started approaching me. I simultaneously took a step back to the deadly edge. “STOP!!!”, the Chief in Command shouted. I smiled and then I turned around, crossed my legs, crossed my arms in an ‘X’ formation across my chest, took a deep breath and with my eyes wide shut I took the leap to my doom.
The fall was excruciating and by far the epitome of adrenaline rushes that have lasted under 7 seconds. The sharks must have just finished their ‘meal’ (the guy in the picture above) or maybe my kind of meat did not appeal to them but I whizzed past a host of the predators with minor injuries from their pointed fins. I jumped out of the water and continued the pulsating run towards the ATLANTIS exit.
Whether I peed my trunks I’ll never know but I was soon safe and sound in an undercover van driven by an Arab spy who took me to the delivery location (for the package I still had bulging in my swimming trunks). I was driven to the world’s only 7-star hotel; the Burj Al Arab.
Sadly I never got past the gate for obvious security reasons. I handed the wet package to one of the guards and headed for an exclusive beach. First I had to find something to fill the void in my stomach after burning over a 10,000 calories in the face of a near shark-attack. The Philly Steak Special was just what the doctor ordered at the Barracuda snack bar: Premium beef cuts smothered in a rich sauce, fried onions and topped with melted cheese, chips for good measure and a pint of ice-cold cola to wash it all down. What a feast! Each succulent bite was a stark reminder of what the sharks could have been sinking their teeth into if I didn’t have a lucky escape.
My outward flight wasn’t for another 24 hours so I soaked up the sun at a beach not far from the Burj Al Arab. It was high time I threw in the towel. Risking my life for the Nigerian government was fast losing its appeal. The perks were great but how long would this go on for? I was informed about another mission which would take me to the other side of the world. If I accepted then this would be my last mission before retirement. All I needed to do was brush up on my Malay…
Source: TCN Classifieds
Photo Credits: The Crazy Nigerian © All rights reserved
Malaysian Mayhem Coming July 2012