As I type this post with a can of ice-cold Amstel Malta by my side and the Mission Impossible soundtrack Instrumental (courtesy of the endangered species also known as Limp Bizkit) playing on my laptop, I wonder how the heck I was able to write 199 articles in the first place. The last time I celebrated my 100th post in style I made some exclusive revelations about the crazy Nigerian and it is only fair that I uphold this self-imposed tradition.
It was the day before Christmas eve and I had just left the office with a colleague on our way to a nearby supermarket. I was overwhelmed by the number of cars in the car park as I had to queue reluctantly for a parking space. Moments later a light caught my eye. It was coming from my left and to my horror it got closer. I horned helplessly, wound down my window shouting frantically, but to no avail. If you haven’t guessed it already it wasn’t a U.F.O – It was a reversing car which left a dent so deep in my door that I couldn’t open to come out.
After the initial humiliation of having to exit awkwardly from the passenger’s side (like a contestant on WIPEOUT), I started parading the car park, pointing the finger of blame at the head of stupidity. I mean this guy kept saying he was sorry but he would not admit that he did not look in his rear view mirror. In fact, he swore to God Almighty that he didn’t see me in his rear view (and that’s because by the time he came out of his car I realized he probably forgot to use his support-cushion). His car looked rickety and he looked like the best part of his day would be eating a hot bowl of Indomie noodles. He clearly couldn’t afford to fix my car and would most probably find the cheapest mechanic that would meet his budget. I turned his shitty offer down and eventually told him to take just a walk and go learn how to drive before I showed him the next level of crazy. Minutes later he was about to reverse into another oncoming car…and I saw him using his side mirror – Idiot!
Now that my car has been restored to semi-perfection by my trusty mechanic I am soaking up what’s left of the Christmas air. I had to make a last half-hour dash to a card and gift shop or risk being labelled a scrooge by my own parents (and how do guys named ‘Ebenezer’ cope in society during this season?). There’s plenty to eat, lots to drink and there’s so much to share; which brings me nicely to some highlights I’ve come across recently on my blog.
Funny searches that led people to my blog, The Crazy Nigerian (No joke)
- interview with santa
- nigerian action films 2011
- nigerian santa
- bus conductor in nigeria
- what is nigeria’s santa claus called
- december 2011 voodoo in lagos
- sexy eyebrows
- has eminem ever been to nigeria before
- is it ok for a man to cry when asking will you marry me
- nairaland toilet roll production
- nicole sherzinger getting mistakened for kim kardashian
I’ve also been amused by comments received from my fans and anyone is welcome to drop a comment without being a member (just have your email address handy). I’m happy to have attained this feat. I’m even happier that I will be giving my blog a holiday till 2012 (unless I have something absolutely important to blog about). I’m salivating over an imaginary roast chicken dinner since I still have another 16 hours till dinner time. I want to thank all the Google users, WordPress team, my fellow bloggers, my subscribers, family and friends, all the social networks sending traffic to my blog. A very big THANK YOU to everyone for making this blog grow from crazy to crazy.
Here’s a toast to posting another 100 crazy articles! And there’s just one other thing I’d like to share…
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!