Entry #60 – Before the sin

‘Don’t do it…you know it’s not right. You’ve been down this road a thousand times.What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you so weak? Step away…run away if you have to. Don’t give in. You’ll only wallow in guilt and depression afterwards. You know He is watching you. He’s shown you grace time and time again. Do you think you’re special? Do you think you will always get a second chance? You’ve hesitated already so just stop and walk away. There’s no need to explain anything. Go! Go now! There are millions of angels up there that will be rejoicing if you can beat this temptation. You can beat this. Just this once…’

‘Don’t listen to that fool. You and I know that Jesus loves you so much that nothing is going to happen to you. How many times have you sinned like this and how many times have you gotten away with it? Just think about it. If you don’t seize this opportunity now you’ll only wonder what could have been. Do you want to put yourself through that kind of torture? Do you want to go through long periods of anxiety? Do you want to lose your concentration in the course of your daily life? Do you want this resistance to degenerate into you committing an even greater sin? There are worse people out there – murderers, rapists…but you’re neither of those. They will surely burn in hell but you wont. You’re special. Go on…do it. You know you want to…and I know that sooner or later you are going to…’

‘Look, if you listen to him again you know where this will end up. Every Sunday you go to church and for what? To make a mockery of your faith? Are you going to stand there and be a hypocrite? After every thing He has done for you, is this the best way to show your appreciation? You may be lucky today but you may not be so lucky tomorrow. I know you can’t do this alone so just step back and pray now. Remember all those prayers in the past? Didn’t he answer every single one of them? What you are about to do is going to eat up your conscience over the next few days…and then comes the binge eating…then you’ll become withdrawn, distracted and miserable – It’s not worth it. Quit while you’re ahead. You know thats what you must do.’

‘Are you going to spend all day contemplating this? DO IT ALREADY! Its no different from last week or the week before…or have you suddenly been struck with a severe case of Amnesia? Do you need me to give you instructions? This is who you are. This is what you do. Accept it. You will NEVER change!’

‘That’s a lie and he knows it. You can make a difference today. One step at a time is all it takes. I’m not saying it will be an easy ride but He will be with you every step of the way. Each time you fall He’ll be there to pick you up. There’s no use blaming this all on Adam. We’re made of flesh and therein lies the enigma. Put that soothsayer to shame!’

‘Blah blah blah! So what’s it gonna be? Are you in or are you going to chicken out?’

‘Ignore him! He’s trying to lure you in.’

‘Do it or you will regret it later.’


‘WHERE THE F*** ARE YOU GOING? GET BACK HERE! You can run…but you’ll be back again like the rest of them…and I’ll be waiting.’
(If you are reading this now then it is for a reason. It’s never to late to change)


2 thoughts on “Entry #60 – Before the sin

  1. you captured the internal struggle that goes on as we stare temptation in the face…may God always help us to make the right choice and to always have the victory!

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