The ‘sin’ in ‘being single’

justiceBeing single can be summarized perfectly in one word which I choose to shout fervently like Mel Gibson in Braveheart – “…FREEDOM!” However there is a school of thought that dictates that at a certain age in life it’s a sin to be single. This age, in Nigeria, varies from family to family, man to man and woman to woman. Once this marriage marry-age has been reached in life it is expected that an engagement ring forms part of your Dubai (tax-free) shopping list (I mean even before you’ve found the girl you’re going to propose to!).

katnissOnce that milestone has been crossed next comes the barrage of questioning you’ll get from your nosy concerned relatives, your concerned friends, your concerned coworkers, your concerned neighbours, your concerned pastor, your concerned dog and even your concerned binman. You see, they feel it’s their constitutional right to follow through on your matrimonial hunt. This is your own version of Hunger Games, only you’re not hunting down your opponent; you’re hunting down your bride (with cupid’s arrow of true love not Katniss’ arrow of certain death).

You’re now in what I call the Boys to Men zone where the familiar married men around you are putting you under pressure…with varying doses (not to mention the pressure you feel when you think you’ve met the one). They want you to leave the little league and join the big leagues. And now a word from our ‘sponsors’…

They may not know it but they’re talking down to you. Meanwhile your BP is going up. You ask yourself, ‘Is it a sin to be single?’ It’s not by choice. It’s a matter of time, a matter of compatibility, a matter of purpose, a matter of divine intervention, a matter that quite frankly should be on the back burner of everyone else’s Concern list. I wonder if onlookers define single people as those who are stubbornly insisting ngenuine love exists. Being single isn’t a crime or a taboo. It’s a phase; some just stay in it longer than others.


11 thoughts on “The ‘sin’ in ‘being single’

  1. I know exactly what you mean! What with people looking at you with pity( who needs your bleeding pity) to those who make you a point of contact while praying…people just don’t understand that you might not have found True love and are unwilling to settle OR ,( horror upon horrors!) you just might not be interested!

  2. I have a friend who has clearly stated that she does not want to get married yet she is being pestered by “concerned ” family and friends.
    It’s like our society does not understand that although it’s great to be married, staying married is an essential part and I’d take being single for a long time than being married for a hot min.
    Phew! I rest my case 🙂

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