Blog Wars

It is the year 2021. Blog world has been riddled with mayhem as there is a never ending battle between the Bloggers and the Spammers. There is one blogger however called Luke Skywriter who is the best there is at blogging and he is the last hope to restore Blog world to a state of useful information circulation. His predecessor, Anakin Skywriter, was supposed to make this possible. The elders had noticed that the Words were strong in him at the tender age of 9. But following his transition to the Dark side he was presumed dead after an epic pen-fight with Obi-Wan Kenotey.

Luke Skywriter, with the guidance of Princess Writea and the Scribe training from 900 yr old Posta, was instrumental in his execution of a well-laid out plan to annihilate the rebels of the Spam armed forces. In a terrible twist of fate, Luke comes face-to-face with his arch enemy, the devious Darth Pager, who later reveals that he is in fact his biological father – Anakin Skywriter. The confrontation leads to lot of ink being shed during the posting battle but Luke rises victorious and the blogs are restored to full circulation in Blog world. He is now married to Princess Writea and has taken over from Posta to train young-lings in Blog academy. There he shows them the way of the Scribe. 

I salute Luke and all that he has done for Blogworld. He is the wordsmith that all bloggers would aspire to be. On that note I’ll sign off saying, ‘May the Words be with you’.

Damn you spam!

I cherish my Sundays – Church at 7am; breakfast around 10am (full English, of course); Siesta from 12pm till my stomach begins to grumble for lunch; and all the cable TV my four-eyes can handle thereafter. You can therefore imagine my bewilderment when at about 6pm I got a tweet on my blackberry from a friend claiming he saw a hilarious picture of me that made him ‘ROTF’ (to which I blurted out, ‘WTF!’).

The first thing I panicked about was whether there was some scandalous picture of me floating about on the web. Was I possibly completely naked or even worse, half-naked? (like being caught with your pants down doing a ‘number 2’). Could some scorned ex-girlfriend be wreaking her revenge online? Had someone hacked into my Facebook account (again!) and gone flickr-happy with my photos? The suspense was killing me; that’s why I stupidly clicked on the link/url at the end of my friend’s tweet. Big mistake!

Beknown to me, I had just clicked my way into a big world of sh*t. What appeared as a twitter login page was actually a spamming site that was designed to fool donkeys like me. 30 minutes later some of my twitter contacts were sending me messages saying they can’t see the picture. Next thing I saw were tweets from myself bragging about how I made $300 online using ‘this amazing software’; and a few minutes later I was tweeting about how I lost 10kg in 2 weeks – that’s when it finally dawned on me that my twitter profile had been hacked…hee-haw!

Against my own will I decided to change my profile name and password before all my followers blocked my tweets. I can’t say that it has worked but only time will tell…

Crazy_Nigerian: This is the cool site I’ve been searching for that allows you to view the exact geographical location of all your Facebook, twitter, blackberry and i-phone pals on the map absolutely free! Just click here http://you.must.be.an.idiot   

A word is enough for the wise!