Hello Justice! I’ve been expecting you (pt.2)

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Enough was enough and it was high time I did something about it. I equipped myself for the imminent battle – adrenaline (check), sarcasm (check) and of course the facts (check). I knocked on her door and she asked who … Continue reading

Hello Justice! I’ve been expecting you (pt.1)

justiceJustice, oh Justice, where have you been all this time? They say good things come to those who wait but I’ve waited for over 3 years for you to come into my life. You must have heard my lamentations about the loud pounding coming from the ground floor at 5.30 am daily, courtesy of the inconsiderate neighbour living below me on the ground floor. I mean, is she participating in a ‘Cook-every-Nigerian-soup-you-know’ Marathon? Who on earth is she cooking all these soups for anyway? Her help? Perhaps. Her little daughter? Doubt any Nigerian child would love eating Edikaikong everyday without thinking they’re being punished for some wrongdoing. Her husband is rarely in town so ‘who she epp’ (help)? It’s bad enough that I have to endure the aroma being sent up through my veranda to remind me of how much of a bloody bachelor I am. But after yesterday, I can see that Justice will soon be served to her – in black and white… (To be continued).

7 Everyday Problems Solved by Bacon

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If you’re like me and you’re feeling the pinch in your wallet as a result of the weakness of your country’s currency and high dependency on imported goods, you’d appreciate alternative, creative ways of doing things. But I also believe … Continue reading

The Initiation: What it means to cut your hand in Nigeria (Pt.2)

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I stepped out of my car and went back into the bank premises, watching the security guard suspiciously as I walked past him and into the trap door (Note to self – bring garlic to work tomorrow). I don’t recall … Continue reading

The Initiation: What it means to cut your hand in Nigeria (Pt.1)

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Dear readers, As I think back to the time when I returned from London after ten years of work experience to settle in Nigeria, I marvel at how much of the local lingo I’ve learnt e.g. To ‘trafficate’ is to … Continue reading

Smell you later!

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Hygiene – a big deal to some, a complete stranger to many. I might be seen as a bit of a fusspot atimes but I can’t stand a bad smell. Just yesterday afternoon at my office one of the food … Continue reading

A shelter for my pet-peeves

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I’ve lived with the them, nurtured them and quite frankly gotten sick of them so I finally decided to give my pet-peeves a natural habitat; my crazy blog (where else?). I’ve had to do away with a lot of them, … Continue reading

I is for Invitation

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Invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃ(ə)n/ a written or verbal request inviting someone to go somewhere or to do something  (Google definition). A written or verbal request inviting someone to an event which he (usually a ‘he’) may not necessarily be allowed to partake in … Continue reading

How Beans nearly ruined my reputation Pt.2

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So this was me – pants half-way down, slightly stooped over a dusty toilet seat and using one hand to desperately latch unto the door handle in case the seemingly faulty lock gave way to an uninvited student. My situation … Continue reading

How Beans nearly ruined my reputation

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If you’ve ever heard the expression ‘It was love at first sight’ then that’s probably the best way I would describe how I feel each time I’m faced with food. My heart literally skips a beat when I’m about to … Continue reading