The Nigerian Way; Will things ever change?

I’ll be honest – It’s not going to be easy writing this post without coming across as a pessimist but I need to give you a taste of the attitude of Nigerians I have experienced in recent times. From all indications things seem to be going from bad to worse. Just yesterday I was at a beautiful wedding reception and at a point all guests were asked to stand up for a prayer from one of the wedding couple’s family members. As we were repeatedly saying a resounding ‘Amen’, right in the middle of the prayer I suddenly heard the pop of a champagne bottle.

we no dey pop amI don’t know about you but I think that was just downright rude. What would it cost the stewards to wait a minute or two for a prayer to finish before causing such a distraction. In the presence of God some level of decorum should be expected during prayer – no talking,  no selfie-ing, no walking and most definitely no champagne popping! Of course it wasn’t long before the final Amen that another champagne cork went off with a loud *POP!* At this point the ridiculousness of it all made me giggle and shake my head – Nigerians! Continue reading

Nigeria is one big animal farm

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I’ll probably get some backlash about this blog title…but on second thoughts that presupposes that this post gets a lot of reads in the first place from people hunting for ‘politically incorrect’ statements. But as we say in these Nigerian … Continue reading

Hello Justice! I’ve been expecting you (pt.2)

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Enough was enough and it was high time I did something about it. I equipped myself for the imminent battle – adrenaline (check), sarcasm (check) and of course the facts (check). I knocked on her door and she asked who … Continue reading

Hello Justice! I’ve been expecting you (pt.1)

justiceJustice, oh Justice, where have you been all this time? They say good things come to those who wait but I’ve waited for over 3 years for you to come into my life. You must have heard my lamentations about the loud pounding coming from the ground floor at 5.30 am daily, courtesy of the inconsiderate neighbour living below me on the ground floor. I mean, is she participating in a ‘Cook-every-Nigerian-soup-you-know’ Marathon? Who on earth is she cooking all these soups for anyway? Her help? Perhaps. Her little daughter? Doubt any Nigerian child would love eating Edikaikong everyday without thinking they’re being punished for some wrongdoing. Her husband is rarely in town so ‘who she epp’ (help)? It’s bad enough that I have to endure the aroma being sent up through my veranda to remind me of how much of a bloody bachelor I am. But after yesterday, I can see that Justice will soon be served to her – in black and white… (To be continued).

7 Everyday Problems Solved by Bacon

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If you’re like me and you’re feeling the pinch in your wallet as a result of the weakness of your country’s currency and high dependency on imported goods, you’d appreciate alternative, creative ways of doing things. But I also believe … Continue reading

The Initiation: What it means to cut your hand in Nigeria (Pt.2)

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I stepped out of my car and went back into the bank premises, watching the security guard suspiciously as I walked past him and into the trap door (Note to self – bring garlic to work tomorrow). I don’t recall … Continue reading

The Initiation: What it means to cut your hand in Nigeria (Pt.1)

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Dear readers, As I think back to the time when I returned from London after ten years of work experience to settle in Nigeria, I marvel at how much of the local lingo I’ve learnt e.g. To ‘trafficate’ is to … Continue reading

Smell you later!

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Hygiene – a big deal to some, a complete stranger to many. I might be seen as a bit of a fusspot atimes but I can’t stand a bad smell. Just yesterday afternoon at my office one of the food … Continue reading

A shelter for my pet-peeves

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I’ve lived with the them, nurtured them and quite frankly gotten sick of them so I finally decided to give my pet-peeves a natural habitat; my crazy blog (where else?). I’ve had to do away with a lot of them, … Continue reading

I is for Invitation

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Invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃ(ə)n/ a written or verbal request inviting someone to go somewhere or to do something  (Google definition). A written or verbal request inviting someone to an event which he (usually a ‘he’) may not necessarily be allowed to partake in … Continue reading